Traveshamockery

Aughhhhhh!!  I just ran across a cute craft idea turned bad.

It was a framed quotation titled "Jane Austen printables."  The quote reads, "I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."  I would have ignored it except for the fact that it simply didn't sound like Jane Austen.  "I never wish..." means that you never do the act of wishing; for example, "I never wish ill upon any other person."  This quote is trying to say that the person wishes never to be parted, etc.  One of the things I treasure most about Austen's work is the precise way she crafted her sentences.  There is no WAY she would have written that!  So I googled it...was it perhaps from a lesser-known, early work that I haven't read?

NOPE!  It was from the 2005 movie adaptation of Pride and Prejudice.  I deliberately avoided this movie for two reasons: 1) Keira Knightley is an appallingly bad actress and 2) no Colin Firth.  Colin Firth is the dreamiest, sexiest, most knee-weakening Mr. Darcy possible.  I refuse to watch Pride and Prejudice without Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. End of story.

But now, it seems I have a third reason to NEVER EVER see this film.  When I googled the quote, I ended up at imdb, where they have a whole collection of "memorable quotes" from this title.  They had the travesty mentioned above, plus they had dumbed down another pivotal scene: where Elizabeth accuses Mr. Darcy of ending Mr. Bingley's courtship of her sister Jane.  The screenwriter had the gall to sum up Jane's perceived indifference in the following sentence: "That's because she's shy!"

GAH!  I can't go on.  I just can't.  All of Jane Austen's clever wordsmithing, reduced to "because she's shy."  BLEEEHHHHHHHH!  No wonder the whole world thinks Americans are dumb as sh*t.

p.s. I know I may have made some grammatical errors in this post.  I'm not saying I'm perfect; I'm saying Jane Austen is.  :)