Thursday, March 29, 2012

Living up to my new name!

I was so excited to learn that I'd been dubbed "Crunchy Mom" by one of my favorite blog authors, Awkward Mom!  But now I'm a little worried that I can't live up to that title.  After all, there are so many things about me that would make a REAL crunchy granola mom pass out right into her Kombucha.  (Which, incidentally, is totally vile-tasting...and that alone would probably get me drummed out of the Crunchy Corps.)

I do have many fine Crunchy qualities.  Majoring in Conservation at UC Berkeley practically guaranteed me lifetime membership in the aforementioned Corps.  Heck, just GOING to Berkeley put me on some kind of granola list (written in soy-based ink, of course.)  I'm on a relentless crusade against plastic grocery bags (well, I bring reusable ones to the store. That's as bloodthirsty as my crusade gets.)  I compost.  I recycle. I drive a fuel-efficient vehicle. I use cloth diapers/practice EC. I chose natural childbirth. I use nontoxic, biodegradable cleaning products.  (Actually, I am even more eco-friendly than that - I simply avoid cleaning at all!)

But...the list of non-crunchy things in my life is LONG.  I don't buy many things organic. I don't eat sprouts, EVER. I don't own any polar fleece or even a pair of hiking boots. The first time I set foot in REI was last month, and I bought nothing.  I buy JARRED BABY FOOD!  (yeah, it's organic. But a real Crunchy would be making her own from vegetables she grew in her own organic garden.)  I don't own an aluminum water bottle. I don't believe in gluten-free unless you truly have a digestive disorder that requires it. I don't believe in taking vitamin supplements (except during pregnancy.)

I do own a pair of fuchsia suede pumps with gold buckles.  Recently I unabashedly bought a pair of designer sunglasses.  I eat meat.  I shave my legs AND armpits.  (well, most of the time.)  I wear deodorant - the kind hippies insist gives you cancer.  (IT DOESN'T.)  I brush my teeth with fluoride toothpaste because I don't love the dentist. I believe in evidence-based medicine. I VACCINATE MY KID!  (oh, don't get me started on that!)

So maybe Crunchy Mom has an alter ego.  Frivolous Mom? Conventional Mom? Hygienic Mom? What's the opposite of granola?  Refined sugar?  That's me all over! Confectionery Mom!!

and...that's all the time we have for today.  Gotta get Crunchy Toddler up from her nap!  ;)


  1. I LOVE IT!

    Excellent Mom and I were just talking about this the other day. She is rather crunchy herself (I myself am way tooooo lazy to even come near natural), but every crunchy choice came from thought and thoughtfulness. It sounds like your crunchiness comes from the same place; a place of truly wanting to care for your child and the planet, not a place of looking good to the other foodies at Whole Foods. Trend-crunchies or Crunchies who just want to be seen are not real in my book (and they are the ones who tend to mandate "all crunchy all the time rules"), and ten to one, they can only dream about majoring in conservation at Berkeley. (Kudos, by the way!)

    I think you are aptly named and don't have some whole Two-Face thing going on (Love the name Confectionery Mom, though!); but we could always go straight up Hippie Mom. :)


  2. Lol! OK, I'll stick with Crunchy Mom! I feel more comfortable with it now that I've laid all my cards (both crunch and confectionery) on the table. :)