Thursday, June 28, 2012

Mom Jeans

What is so bad about mom jeans, anyway? I've been wearing them for years now, if by "mom jeans" we mean plain-pocket, inexpensive, Old Navy jeans. Sure, I have a couple of pairs of designer jeans, which I break out for special occasions, like going to a club. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! A club. I haven't been to a club in years.) I still have the jeans, though, but post-baby they do not fit. Not even a little. Plus, they're way too long to wear with anything but heels (Heels? Surely you jest!) because according to the fashion industry, if you have hips/waist/butt as big as mine, you ought to be 7 feet tall. And mine aren't even that big, I'm just not a stick insect. Stupid fashion industry.

But back to mom jeans - I guess I just have let myself go. I can't seem to make myself properly ashamed of my non-designer-jean-ness. But last week I think I must have finally hit rock bottom. I had four pairs of pre-baby mom jeans that were in heavy rotation. So heavy that I've worn holes in 7 of the 8 knees. I'm sure this has nothing to do with frequent requests from Katie for pony rides. (It's too cute to resist, she makes a clip-clop sound with her tongue.) I've been wearing the holy jeans anyway, because, well, that's all I have.

Anyway, last weekend my uncle came to visit. He wanted to take pictures of Katie, of course, which was fine. Later he sent me the pictures. I saw one that I hadn't managed to duck out of, and prominently featured were my knees, through my holy jeans. Not a good look, folks. I guess I had to see it from someone else's perspective.

So, off to Old Navy we went. I bought two new pairs of non-holy mom jeans. (Unholy just doesn't sound right.) Naturally I couldn't try them on in the store with Katie, so I took my best guess at size. Turns out my best guess was way off, but while I was taking one pair for a test run at home, I managed to spill baby food on one leg. D'oh. It wasn't even Katie's fault, just my own clumsiness. So now I have one HUGE pair of jeans, and one pair that fits. Oh well, I guess the huge pair will be for the transition to maternity jeans. (we hope!)

At the risk of getting a little rant-y, though, why are we mommies expected to look or dress the way we did when we were single? For the first time in my life, I love my job. It requires comfortable clothes, which is a great fit for my personality. My days involve Gymboree, Target, the grocery store, Trader Joe's and swimming lessons. I don't see what's so wrong with wearing plain, boring jeans to these destinations. I do sometimes see skinny, designer-jean-wearing, sunglassed, bejeweled, mani-pedi'd, hair-did moms, but I either pretend they don't exist or make up catty stories about how they lock their kids in a closet for the hour and a half it takes them to get ready in the morning.  :)

I've always been a wash-and-go, no-fuss kind of girl, so I think this mom jeans thing is a blessing in disguise. I now have an excuse to be exactly who I've always been! Thanks, Katie!

UPDATE: I've been informed by my fashionista friend Emily that my new jeans are not mom jeans. Mom jeans, she says, have to be an ugly denim color, and the waist has to be much higher than your bellybutton. So I guess that goes for the huge pair, but the pair that fits is exempt from the title. Woohoo!

1 comment:

  1. You go on rockin' you non-mom jeans mom jeans; unholy or not. :)

    I am fairly sure I have worn nothing but jeans for oh, about 4 years now....

    Love the post!