And here it is:
I have about 100,000 words to write, but no time in which to write them. I've been blogging like crazy in my head again, usually sometime between 3 and 5 am when I'm trying to get back to sleep.
By some miracle, both of my girls are sleeping right now. Even more astonishing is that I actually prefer them to sleep alternately (although a few minutes of overlap is nice.) The reason is that I like to be able to actually give one child my full (ish) attention, instead of trying to juggle them. I say full-ish because I also have to still do dishes, laundry, wash bottles (long story) and do all sorts of other householdy things that just won't wait. Don't worry, I am heeding the advice of "let the house go and spend time with your kids". Boy am I! This house has never been such a disaster. I think for my birthday I'm going to ask for house cleaning. I'm tired of living in squalor!
I hear Audrey stirring in the other room, so let's pray she falls back asleep while I write a quick update. Breastfeeding is still not going well, though it's going a heck of a lot better than it did with Katie. Neither of my girls latch(ed) well. With Katie it was just impossible to breastfeed her, so I pumped 8 times a day for a year. Pumping 8 times a day (that's every 2 hours, in case anyone's counting) is utterly, certifiably insane. Pumping 8 times a day while your toddler tries to tear your baby's toes off, squirt laundry detergent into her own mouth, draw on the walls with a pen and pour water all over the carpet...well, that's more than I can take. And yes, all these things have happened within the last 24 hours. If I had to list all the things Katie has done while I was either pumping or feeding Audrey, I'd be here all day.
Yes, you read that right: I *am* doing some pumping. I am in the process of trying to transition Audrey back to breastfeeding after a couple of weeks of feeding her with a syringe. This means drawing up some breastmilk into a syringe, attaching a thin flexible tube, taping the tube to your finger and letting the baby suck the end of your finger. The milk flows into her mouth through a tiny hole in the end of the tube. It's supposed to be better than a bottle because the finger is made of flesh instead of silicone, and the milk doesn't pour out as fast as it does from a bottle. Anyway - we did that for about a week and a half, and then we tried a bottle. The bottle was way easier to manage, but I was worried that Audrey, like Katie, would never want to go back to breastfeeding. Luckily, she is back on the breast using a nipple shield and an SNS. I'm starting to bore myself here, so I'll just say that the shield helps her latch on and the SNS helps her get milk faster than she would without it. For now, it's working. She's gaining weight and growing like a weed.
But it's hard! I guess I forgot how hard it is to have a newborn. I, unlike other mothers, am nearly always unable to tell why my baby is crying. You're supposed to be able to tell a hunger cry from a gassy cry from a tired cry...I'm just awful at this. I've been offering Audrey the breast whenever she cries, figuring that sucking will comfort her even if she isn't hungry, but I'm quickly finding out that if she isn't hungry she will SCREAM at the breast and fight and push away. But she also does that if she's too hungry! Gaaah! And Audrey is much less able to tolerate a wet diaper than Katie was. Katie couldn't have cared less if she was wet.
Crud - Audrey's up - guess I better do a diaper change! Til next time!